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MURATHE

Kwa kila mtaa kuna jamaa ambaye ni garagaria, yeye ndie hupewa all the odd jobs including petty errands, kuosha gari, kufyeka nyasi, mara ametumwa dukani, kuchota na kupandisha maji kwa gorofa, kupeleka bike za watoto kwa fundi etc etc, the list is long. The guy is generally not so bright you can call him a dimwit but he is a darling to everyone as he is very obedient ata kaa analipwa pesa kidogo, everyone loves him coz si mwizi na pia wale hawafikishi threshold maybe anawasaidia. Hapa kwetu mtaani jamaa anaitwa Murathe na anakuaga na madrama kweli, sijui alitokoka Murarandia pande gani akajipata hapa 001 coz ile ushamba anakuaga nayo inahitaji maombi ya all televangelists combined, ile kitu mie humtuma ni Gibleys peke yake saa ile sijiskii kwenda out (na mafegi siku zile nilikua navuta) after zile vituko amenonyesha. 1) kunasiku nimemtuma shopping kidogo usiku kwa kiosk anunue kanyama ka soo sukuma mosquito coil na tissue, jamaa kurudi aliweka kila kitu kwa fridge. 2) siku ingine
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Revenge gone wrong

One time, I discovered that my husband Mureithi was cheating on me with a certain lady who worked in a company that were clients to my husband. Mureithi was working as a salesman and his biggest client was based in Rwanda. As mama shaitani, there's no way I could let a sin go unpunished. So I went to the jugular. I got the lady fired, got Mureithi fired and notified the lady's husband that his wife was cheating with my husband. Naturally, the lady was divorced and I got this husband some job in Nairobi, the same job Mureithi held. Meanwhile, Mureithi got a job in Canada and flew away. My revenge was not complete yet. Soon, loneliness set in. My business want doing well either. Stress ikaanza kuingia. Add dryspell to the mix. Then I remembered my Rwandese friend and thought that ferking him would not be a very bad idea. After all, Mureithi had ferked his wife (dryfry, definitely, coz he's allergic to latex, which is an excuse he uses to feel good pouring inside) after fe
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MAUNGU STAND OFF PT1

One afternoon after successfully towing a truck from Tana Delta to   Msa Muarabu summoned me into his spacious air conditioned office and after his usual unprintable greetings was offered a seat alafu karushiwa note book and he instructed me to make a list of our best drivers, Muarabu sio mtu wa kuulizwa maswali akikuambia jump unajump so being very curious I penned down four of our best drivers.   Deree wawili mimi ndio nilikua nimewaleta na hao wengine had found them there in the kambuni. I handed him the list na after kusoma majina akacheka kaa ananirushia diary yake where he had scrolled down the same names that were on my list. Its then that he told me about his latest contract of which he was to transport 4 high value containers to the capital and that’s why he needed his best derees. We then got down to analyzing them one by one. On top we had Kigen, a crazy Kipsigis who had been with the company for over 20 yrs, yeye ndie alianza maneno ya kufunga barabara ukipata punctur
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Okay! What's happening in here?

Where's Jirani?
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RUN MERIA RUN

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Have you ever had to run for dear life? Ushawai kimbia yako yote mpaka rev meter inasoma 30000 revs/minute?   have you ever been scared shitless coz of what is about to happen to you? Well it happened to me once and I remember it like yesterday although it was late 1999. How had I got myself in such a situation? Lets start from the beginning. It had all begun 6 months earlier when I met a fat   male Corinthian in Githurai 44 who had been mobbed by tens of people, moving closer to see what was not happening I found out that he was selling compact tapes for kshs 40 only. My shiny eye mind kicked in and I wanted to know more about the source of this tapes so I could also join in on the money train, minimum mtu alikua ananunua ni tano. After the crowd thinned abit I had a chance to talk to the Corinthian and like a real mudu wa nyumba akasema ili aniambie siri za hio biznaa I had to buy all he had first at 20bob a piece, hakuficha eti ilikua ni faida yake. Tulihesabu zote na nikampea 1
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Shortest boxing career in history

In the late 80s after clearing high school I was a kanda ya moko in Githurai while waiting to go to college, Githurai was growing at a rapid pace na kazi zilikua kibao, mshahala ilikua 40 bob per day which was more than enough for a teenager who had no obligations, didn’t drink, didn’t smoke and was paying no rent, pesa yote ilikua yakununua nguo and the kaoccasional movie Kenya Cinema or 20 th century, slices siku hizo zilikuaanga free na ata sikuzingine nilikua nalinga vile zilikua mob. One bag of cement was going for 85 bob and y12 53 bob. bei ya beer I think was less than 4 bob and bus fare to tao was 1 bob. Siku moja tukikoroga gorofa hapo Kungsfarm @4makind you know the place, nikaambiwa naitwa na sis, alikua na an official looking letter na nikaifungua haraka haraka, the letter was from Kabete Technical Institute and I had 3 weeks to report, I showed the foreman the letter and demanded my days wages on the spot, my days kwa mjengo were over. The days flew and in early Sep
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TBT: Memories are made of this

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paraffin Lighter, ilikua yafunguka na kelele nyingi saa zingine inaamsha mtoto ma condaa wa KBS were trained to use this machine as weapons this was a privilege of the rich Blast from the past good old days of snail mail
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