RUN MERIA RUN

Have you ever had to run for dear life? Ushawai kimbia yako yote mpaka rev meter inasoma 30000 revs/minute?  have you ever been scared shitless coz of what is about to happen to you? Well it happened to me once and I remember it like yesterday although it was late 1999. How had I got myself in such a situation? Lets start from the beginning.

It had all begun 6 months earlier when I met a fat  male Corinthian in Githurai 44 who had been mobbed by tens of people, moving closer to see what was not happening I found out that he was selling compact tapes for kshs 40 only. My shiny eye mind kicked in and I wanted to know more about the source of this tapes so I could also join in on the money train, minimum mtu alikua ananunua ni tano. After the crowd thinned abit I had a chance to talk to the Corinthian and like a real mudu wa nyumba akasema ili aniambie siri za hio biznaa I had to buy all he had first at 20bob a piece, hakuficha eti ilikua ni faida yake. Tulihesabu zote na nikampea 10k for 500 tapes na biznaa ikakua yangu, akaniambia pale nitampata nikimaliza kuuza. Bila kupoteza wakati nikafunga mzigo wangu na nikauhamisha Githurai 45 roundabout, hapo watu walikua hawajaona hizi tapes and within 2 hrs I had my money back and had made a tidy profit then off I went to look for the Corinthian, nilimpata in a dinghy smoky joint huko karibu na reli known as Sosnia, Sosnia was right in the middle of Githurai ghetto, hakuna kitu ilikua yakosekana huko and yes our Corinthian was taking machozi ya samba.

We had a very productive talk as he didn’t hold anything back, kengere ilikua imelia kwa cassettes coz of the new technology of CDs and the billionaires who held massive stocks of the tapes were offloading at 10 bob a tape if you were buying 10000 tapes, shida ni walikua Kampala  na ilikua ni safari ya siku mbili kwenda na kurudi. A partnership was born over a grass of chum after I suggested we each raise 50/50 of the capital and head to UG na tukapanga tupatane following evening tuende na bus ya usiku.

Following day went haraka sana nikijipanga kwa hizo ma hustle zingine, by jioni I went to my mom kumwambia juu ya safari yangu ya UG na ile kitu alisema sijawai sahau, “ukiwa UG usiangalie ata mwanamke mmoja” I damn well knew what she meant. Usiku saa mbili sisi hao tukaondoka, by 6am tukavuka border and by 9 tukafika, twas my first time in UG and the land is so green mpaka macho inaumia. We went to some back street warehouse where the tapes were stored and we began our selection, the floor plan was well laid out, international music, local secular, local gospel, lingala, reggae you name it, no artist was hard to find. By 4pm we were through with our order na tukapelekwa kwa bus na rukwama as @xuma and @okonkwo call mkokoteni.

After mzigo kufika kwa bus office tukaenda kunywa Waragi tukigojea masaa ya kuondoka, macho nilishafisha kweli lakini ushauli wa mama sikusahau. Kumbe Mungu aliumba Waganda  saa nne after tea break. From the 1gbs to the 1tbs zote zilikua sawa lakini nilikula kwa macho tu.

After an uneventful trip back home tulikua sokoni by saa tatu asubuhi and sales were going on well lakini watuwengi walikua wanasema wachezewe tape waskie kaa ile music imeandikwa ndio iko nadani, so I rushed to Luthuri and bought a sony double deck radio cassette with detachable speakers, pia nikapitia Kirinyaga road nikanunua exide battery, kufika Githu ngoma ikapanda na sales zikongezeka. Within 4 days we were low on stock na nikakimbia UG peke yangu kuleta mzigo ingine and after kindu 5 trips our partnership, like all great partnerships died. Corinthian alikua ananiachia job yote anaenda kuwaka the whole day, na saa hile nimemuacha job hesabu yake haikua inabalance, anyway we had made enough money to go each on his own way.

When I brought my own consignment nikadecide kuidivide mara mbili, yaani have two sales points, moja ikabaki kwa round about na ingine nikaweka hapo Uncle Sam kule 44 na ilibidi nikuwe employer. I had 6 guys to help me. Kazi yangu was now shuttling in between the two points with my cheki maneno kuangalia kazi. Soon enough nikajua pia ruiru hawajauziwa hizi tapes za 40 bob, so I bought another radio and battery na tukaenda ruiru na crew yangu ingine tukafungua kazi, it was easy, ulikua unaenda duka ya whole sale ya sigara unanunua the big boxes zinakua ndio meza yako ya kazi. 1000 tapes sold out in 3 hours.

Sasa kuna kitu ingine funny kwa fearshara, huwezi kula peke yako siku zote, other guys were also heading to UG na cassette selling points zikaanza kukua nyingi, business ikaanza kwenda chini lakini it was still profitable but the crazy sales I initially had zilienda chini na ilibidi nikue itinerant trader, moving from market place to market place, nilienda  Dago market, kawangware, Kiambu, Gatundu, Kiganjo, Thika na hadi Pipeline nilifungua branch moja hapo kwa Kirima, had to rent a hse in a mabati plot for my mboys. Only the githurai selling points were permanent.

Siku moja nikiwa Thika a well proportioned yellow yellow wanted 50 tapes na hakua na pesa ya kutosha akasema pesa iko JKUAT kwa hostel, she asked if we can go get the money, we duly went and I got my money (not slices, poleni team mafisi) but my shiny eyes saw something else, a very high population of students na nikajua lazima nije huku Juja kuwauzia tapes. Very next day nilikua hapo Gachororo nikipiga mziki, sales zilianza slowly lakini by jioni business picked up na sikuregret kufika juja. Nikifunga kazi my yellow yellow turned up and after I had seen my boys off we went to Thika ne threshold ilifikiswa.

Following day we were there same spot  and this kids had now heard of us with our 40 bob tapes, they we coming in droves and I had to keep on sending one of my boys home to bring more tapes.

Day 5 saa tisa hivi kaa biashara imeshika kweli kweli a mama mboga next to me called me aside and told me to watch two guys carefully, wa wa wa wa, the boys were stealing me blindly. While me and my boys were busy selecting tapes, collecting money and giving change and at the same time playing their selected tapes, this boys were stuffing stolen tapes into their bags, hapo ndipo walijua sisi ni wa Githurai na tukishika mwizi hakunaga negotiations, tuliwashika tukawaunda vizuri sana ungethania wamakanyagwa na SGR tatu kisha tukawaachilia lakini tuliwanyanganya bag. We thought this would be a lesson to the other students. In githurai hakuna siku ata moja mutu alikua ameiba tape.

After the fracas died down tukarudi job lakini macustomer hawakua wengi, around 5 oclock ndio tukaona mastudent wengi wana come tukajua baaass, kahawa imeiva, tukajipea shuguli ya kupanguza dust from the tapes in anticipation of high sales, kaa nimeinamisha kichwa yangu busy wiping the tapes they suddenly exploded upwards, a rock the size of a goats head had landed smack in the middle of my makeshift cardboard box table, kuinua kichwa juu niangalie missile imetoka wapi ingine ikanimiss by centimeters, at once nikajua kimeumana, nikaambia my boys wajitoe, ilespeed nilitoka nayo hapo nikaa ile ya the roadrunner kwa wale wanakumbuka hio cartoon, nikiondoka na gear number tano niliacha vumbi hapo. There was no time to pick anything, the crowd was almost on us na kaa sio hao wakurusha mawe walikua overenthusiastic tungeshikwa vizuri, I left all the tapes, radio na battery hapo na nikashika hio njia ya Gachororo at full speed, sikua najua niko na mbio hivo, kaa kungekua na dam hapo ningevuka kaa kale ka Jesus lizard ka NatGeo vile kana pita juu ya  maji. 

Kaa coach wa Kenya 100 meters team angeona vile tulitoka hapo, we would have made the team for the Sydney Olympics. From zero to 100 in 2 seconds.

The need to stay alive combined with the fear  of a certain horrible death gave us wings, we basically flew from the blood hungry mob, kitu ingine ilitupea milage ni vile walifika kwa stall yangu walianza kuloot everything and during this short break we added a few hundred meters to the gap between us, kwa wale wanajua njia ya Gachororo you know how straight it is and how far each chochoro is from another one, I had lost my “Godfather” in the first few hundred meters and soon I lost my saharas which were hindering me, I was now running barefooted for dear life, my boys sijawai jua vile tulipoteanwa but I was now on my own, mob ilikua bado iko nyuma but far behind and I could still hear their war cries, nikaingia shamba ingine huko Ndarugo na mob ikashidwa nimeenda wapi. Kisha nikapata mto nikavuka nikatokea hio side nyingine alafu nikajipata kwa Ndarugu quarries. Had two broker friends there na wakati nilingia kwa ile lorry walikua wanapakia ndio nilirelax and stopped looking behind me.

Nikiwa hapo kwa cabin peke yangu ndio the shock ilihit, all the exess energy that had been pumped by the adrenalin and had not been used came out in the form of shaking, nilitetemeka hadi nyees, meno pia ilikua yagongana kaa ticker timer during a nuclear meltdown and then nikasweat kaa drum mbili ya maji. Wacha niskie baridi.

Lorry ilijaa kaa saa moja hivi na tukatoka quarry on our way to githurai, Kabla kufika juja kulikua na jam wazimu, kuuliza ni nini tukaambiwa ma students wame riot na wamefunga barabara. Kuskia hivo karibu ni sink kwa floor ya lorry, after missing their prey the students were quenching their primitive energies on hapless motorists and residents of Juja town.

After kindu half an hour the road was opened na nikajipata Githurai by 8:30, I was overwhelmed with joy when hapo kwa stall ya roundabout  nilipata ma boys wangu wote watatu, they were also happy to see me as they had begun to think the worst and they were about to convene a search party.

That day I broke the bank, with my crew tulingia Blue Congo na kukunywa for 3 days straight tukirudisha shukrani kwa mora kwa kutuweka uhai, kweli life is short and he had given is another chance.

Kazi ya cassettes died a natural death as  cheap VCD machines flooded the market and soon enough DVDs pia became affordable. Siku hizi mtu akiwa na net anaweza jisort na any kind of music he fancies, kweli tumetoka mbali. @Deorro na @web_dev tell us what to expect next

Ive never set foot in Juja again and every time napitia hapo nikiwa 80km/hr on the highway I cant breath